InsaneJournal

016 - What moment in your life would you want to relive?
I would travel back in time---but only far enough to prevent what happened on the day of the battle with the Saxons. I would do many things differently than what I had done. Above all, I would make sure that Lancelot would never have had to save me from Cyric. I would somehow have kept him from either seeing me go down under the sword---or I would have attacked the Saxon in an entirely different manner.

I should have had the common sense to not to try to fight that Saxon bastard in such a close proximity. I knew he out-weighed me by far more than I could ever hope to match, but when I saw his face...when I saw his face, all I could focus on through the smoke and dust of the battle was the hated face that had caused the death of a gentle warrior like Dagonet.

My rage overwhelmed me and caused me to act rashly. Without thinking, I attacked Cyric with my hatchets---when I should have instead attacked him from yards away and let my bow do the job for me.

I remember the blow that cut into my shoulder and send me to the ground. I wasn't afraid to die...but at that moment, I wanted to live more than anything. I had Arthur, I had Lancelot...and I wanted to be able to hold them and tell them everything that had been in my heart. At the very least, I wanted to be able to tell them goodbye. As I felt the blood slowly move down my shoulder and my side, I saw Cyric prepare to deliver the deathblow with his sword. As his sword came down at me, it was connected with a sudden clanging sound by a barrier that lay between him and me. His sword had been blocked by one of Lancelot's swords.

I didn't know that Lancelot had even seen what was going on. The times I had checked on him and on Arthur, they had had their hands full with several Saxons---and appeared to be handling themselves quite well. I had never even seen Lancelot arrive. They fought for a few moments and it looked like Lancelot was going to destroy him.

What happened next is burned into my memory and I will see it until the day I die.

The Saxon somehow got a hold of one of those damn crossbows they were fond of and an arrow suddenly sprouted from Lancelot's chest. I know I cried out, and I saw Lancelot throw his sword---embedding that deep into Cyric's chest. I didn't care about the fight after that. I knew Arthur was doing well...but there was no one but me to watch over Lancelot and make sure he would be protected from those that would defile his wounded body for sport. I was not about to let ANYONE touch him.

When they carried him from the battlefield and to the rooms, Arthur and I went with him. We stayed at his side throughout everything, leaving only when they forced us to sleep or when we had the wedding ceremony. Arthur and I wanted to wait on the ceremony, but we were told it would show that we were all united as one people if we did it while the battle was still fresh in everyone's mind.

After that, Arthur and I never left Lancelot's side. I watched one man I loved hover between life and death---and die more than once. I watched the other man I loved refusing to eat or sleep (well...so did I, I guess) and just stay there with his best friend. He started losing weight and looking a little bit grey.

It should have been my chest that was pierced on that day. I should have been the one to almost die that day. If given the chance, I would travel back in time. I would go back and change what happened during that clash. I would give my life itself to spare my love the pain and confusion he has gone through since that fateful battle.

I would throw myself between Lancelot and that damn crossbow bolt.

I would die to spare Lancelot everything he has gone through...and to spare Arthur all of the fear and the grief and the pain he endured as he sat beside Lancelot's bedside.

I would change all of that to spare the men I love all of that pain.


Muse: Guinevere
Fandom: "King Arthur" movies and mythologies
Word Count: 748